Turkey Baby

You might know that I’m a professional foodie, but what you might not know is that I was literally born into this career choice. The year that I was born, my mom enjoyed two Thanksgiving dinners, at each respective grandparent-to-be’s households. Feeling like she had had a little too much to eat was instead labor pains and I was born the day after Thanksgiving at 8 AM. I love that my birthday so often falls on or around this holiday because it involves close family and friends, delicious food, and allows me to have a huge say in how and where we spend my holiday.

Somehow I managed to convince my parents that walking three miles in coordinated jumpsuits on national TV pulling a large fictitious creature would be a great way to spend Thanksgiving/my birthday. And indeed, we now have an annual Thanksgiving tradition to celebrate my birth in true New York City style; we are balloon handlers in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. This year we were handlers on the “Blue Elf,” one of three elves that have immediately preceded Santa for decades. We lined up outside the New Yorker hotel at 6 AM Thanksgiving Day, and were all suited up in jumpsuits that all make us look like convicts. My 6’4” father is always given a suit that is not long enough, and my mom and I always have a mother-daughter moment as we stand there laughing through tears as he tries to unsuccessfully stuff himself into it. As we made our way out to the buses at 34th Street at 7 AM, we were among a sea of other costumed characters: a spool of thread, a movie usher, a large man dressed in a diaper, a group of Rubik’s Cubes. We arrived at 72nd Street to greet our balloons that are inflated, but strapped to the ground by nets that makes them look like beached whales on a fisherman’s ship, or since we are outside of the Natural History Museum, something from “A Night at the Museum” with Ben Stiller.

As the parade is announced at 9 AM, each balloon entered the parade. We removed the netting, and eased our little elf into the air. We worked as a team to make him dance for all the passersby on the street, and pressed up against the glass on the Central Park West apartment windows. Last year, we were on Beethoven, a huge St. Bernard Puppy that made us each bear about 100 lbs of force when the wind blew. There were 70 balloon handlers to keep him on the ground. On this much smaller balloon, there were only 12 handlers and with almost no wind on this day, it was a breeze to walk him the three miles to Macy’s Department Store.

By 1 PM the parade was over, and we had returned all suits and hats. We parked ourselves in the local pub until we were good and ready to return home to start mushing the mashed potatoes. We enjoyed a colossal Thanksgiving dinner in my neighbor’s Jersey City apartment with about 15 friends and family and a 30 lb turkey. I was asleep by 9 PM. Every year is the best birthday ever and it’s wonderful to share this experience with all of you! Happy Holidays!